Deviation Actions
Literature Text
The wind blows high and the sky hangs low,
Tall ships are swallowed as the billows roll,
The storm rears back with a bended bow,
The lightning leaps from the sky.
Thunder roars o’er sea and coast,
Bright light flickers like a fleeting ghost,
Aye, ‘tis when we can see the most,
The lightning leaps from the sky.
The light’s gone out on the beacon tall,
The keel cuts jagged ‘neath a leaking hull,
The masts all groan in the wailing squall,
The lightning leaps from the sky.
The rocks like dirks stabbing sea and sky,
Like hungry teeth in the stormy tide,
‘Tis doomed ships’ hulls that they love to bite,
The lightning leaps from the sky.
The brine foams bitter on the sea waves cold
That break with violence on the sea cliffs old,
Many a soul would the sea enfold,
The lightning leaps from the sky.
Doleful wraiths drift beneath the waves
Bemoaning death o’er watery graves,
How the heart for deliverance craves,
The lightning leaps from the sky.
The raindrops’ lash cutting to the bone,
Ice-flesh burning from the salty foam,
Course is lost and a-lost is home,
The Lightning leaps from the sky.
Your work is well written! That's pretty much what I can say. The rhyme scheme was very well handled, the refrain (for me) did not feel forced, and its meter was brilliant. Truly brilliant.
I personally had two things in my head when I finished reading this work:
1) your other poems:
Fie! Fie!Fie! Fie!and
Forsooth, wist I,
Much seemeth out of sorts.
Pale moonlight falls,
‘Pon darksome walls;
Fey shadow o’er the courts.
Fey and fie,
For evil’s nigh;
Doth spirit darkly stain.
Sleep doth refuse to dulcetize,
The greater then the strain.
Fly! Fly!
Heed ye my cry!
For watch ye not the doors?
Dim twilight lay,
On landscape fey.
Mist sprawleth ‘cross the moors.
Fie and Hark!
Doth eye not mark,
The brimstone-flash of hell?
The Gurlock creeps,
Down from the steeps;
I know his reek right well.
Fie! Fie!
Too late to hide!
Up now, and bar the door!
The creature crawls,
O’er stony walls,
Yet ye lay on the floor?
Hearken! Hear!
For death lurks near!
The creature’s drool drips warm.
Unto that beast,
Strength is a feast;
Weak is the strong man’s arm.
Ye lazy dafts!
I’ve with thy hafts,
Barred entrance to these halls;
This Grendel they,
Shan
Kale's LamentationTears for me have long run dry;
All joy to me now seems a lie,
As does hope for bright tomorrow;
I can find no rest in sleep;
I’ve no more the heart to weep,
Yet more deeply burns my sorrow;
Wearied of counting the cost,
And of what’s lost being lost,
Of fate spun out of my control,
I’m tired of giving my tears,
To my sorrows, griefs, and fears,
As ransom for my heart and soul;
What’s lost was cruelly taken;
Are we truly so shaken,
To do aught but mourn its passing?
Shall un-avenged be the wrongs?
Wrongdoers sing mirth-ful songs,
Though our sorrows keep amassing?
I and you, we are mourning;
For death stained hope a-borning;
Sad night fell at the dawn of day;
Why do we tearfully sit,
All unwilling to admit,
That tears can’t wash the blood away?
and 2) Skyrim, the 30 minute loop of Kito Otani's "A Despair Filled Farewell" and Adrian Von Ziegler's "Wolves of the Sea".
Well done Truly...